Monday Confessions: Speak Softly

This week I have a confession that just about everyone save my parents will find as a shock and probably try to convince me isn't the case, but none-the-less, it really is true, I swear!

I am painfully shy... Really, I am! I think over the years I have found ways of hiding or suppressing it, but every time I'm put in a situation where I have to meet new people, it's absolutely terrifying for me! That's not to say I don't like people, on the contrary I adore meeting new people, but it's just I'm so worried about how people will perceive me, or whether I'll be clumsy or say something dumb (which I usually do) that makes it so nerve-wracking when I'm put in social situations...

My muscle man will fight to the death telling me I'm not shy, after all I'm very outgoing when we are at public places, and will do silly things like jump around or make myself look like a fool, but I'm not under any stress to 'meet' any of the people around us, if they even notice my antics at all... We're in public, I'm not going to see these people again, and if I do, there's little to no chance they'll remember me or what crazy stuff I did.

And I guess he does have a bit of a point, I mean really shy people wouldn't volunteer to run around half naked in Slave Leia gear, would they?

But when I'm wearing Slave Leia, or any costume for that matter, it's not really me, it's me enhanced =P It's like how they say "acting is the shy man's revenge" for me when I'm wearing that costume, it's this layer of awesomeness that allows me to do whatever I want! There's even a video of me somewhere dancing the freaking conga line in costume and I'm enjoying it! You couldn't hold me at gunpoint and make me do that in regular life haha! And that's not to say I'm always 'playing a part' when I'm in costume, at conventions I'm very much myself even though I'm wearing crazy clothes... I think that's why so many of my friends are people I've met through the 501st and Rebel Legion and at conventions over the years... I'm also way more comfortable when I'm in situations where people are introducing themselves to me, rather than the other way around, which is mostly the case when trooping with the 501st, and often the case at conventions as well (people who come up and ask to take my photo or ask about my costume seriously rock my socks! I don't have to introduce myself first, I so wish life was always like that!)...

So yes, I really am quite shy, but I've found my own ways around that little obstacle in life and made it work for me! =D